31 weeks down … Almost there!

Again it’s been ages since I posted. It’s for better reasons this time than my previous absence though. I’ve just been so busy preparing and living life that sometimes (read: all the time) I’m too tired to update this thing. I spend a lot of time on my Babycenter birth board too so that’s where I usually write things. I’m going to go through a lot of stuff though since it’s been almost a month.

We are now fully adjusted to life with Clayton doing 3 week Canadian rotations. We’ve worked out his leave and vacation from work for when the baby comes and have coincided it perfectly with the move. He comes home next Thursday, which will actually end up being Friday by the time he travels (10/16) and then he’ll be home for three weeks. He’ll go back out for two then come home with one week unpaid time off and 4 weeks of paternity leave / vacation time. Our plan is to move Thanksgiving weekend and have everything ready to go. My c-section has been scheduled for the 11th of December but I don’t think I’ll last that long and neither does the doctor. Still, that’s the time frame as we have it now.

My baby shower was September 19. My friend flew in from Vegas and it was a great bash. My friend Crystal worked sooo hard on it and everything was perfect. It was small but I got so many awesome presents and loved celebrating with everyone. There were minions everywhere and omg the cake was so good. All I can say is that Kristopher is a lucky little boy to have as many people who love and care about him as he does. I think everything’s gonna be all right. I had an amazing weekend and everyone that helped do things for it will have my eternal gratitude.

I’m having bi-weekly doctor appointments for both my regular OB and my MFM at this point. We keep having to increase my dosage of insulin at night because the placenta keeps raising my fasting blood sugars. This is something she told me would happen but it still is hard not to be frustrated sometimes. Blood pressure is steady which is good because pre-eclamsia has always been a risk factor. Baby is a little big but not alarmingly so, and overall I’m pleased with the health part of the pregnancy. I have had some pretty crazy itching on my hands and feet at night so today my doc ran a liver panel and bile test just to be sure that there was no cholestasis. I expect it to be normal though.

Next week we are taking maternity photos at a pumpkin patch. It’s sort of maternity/family and I’m doing pics for my friends too. It’s hard to feel good when I’m as big as a house – especially in the tummy – but I feel like I’d hate not having this part of my life documented, especially considering how hard I worked and planned to get here. Next time I post will be with new pictures!

It’s Been Over Two Weeks . . .

I promised to keep on myself for at the very least posting a Wednesday Gratitude every Wednesday no matter what. Then July happened.

On June 30, my husband came home from his very last offshore hitch. He will be starting rotations in Canada as I may have mentioned before which is both cool and scary at the same time. I was super excited to see him, but that was short-lived as he picked up the stomach bug that I had a few days prior that left me feeling grosser than gross. It hit him way harder. After a day of 101.4 fever and him developing worse symptoms, I took him to urgent care so that he could be seen. Out of all his symptoms they tunnel visioned on chest pains and ended up doing an EKG that was abnormal and resulted to him being sent to the ER in an ambulance. The EKG was also abnormal there, but as he was fine otherwise and was having no signs of anything heart related (including full bloodwork done) he was sent home with instructions to follow up with an electrocardiologist as soon as possible.

The next day, my mother died. It was really sudden. She went into the ER Monday (the day my husband came home) and was in hospice by that night, so three days later she was gone. What this meant for us was that we had to leave directly after my normal doctor appointments on Thursday and make a 14 hour drive to Tennessee. We got there around 8 am that Friday morning, the funeral visitation was at 10 am, the memorial at 1 and after a night’s rest and evening spent catching up with my family we were back on the road towards home Saturday morning. We got back in the wee hours late Saturday night. It was a lot to go through, especially while pregnant, but I’m just glad it was still early so I felt like travel and could do it safely.

I thought things were going to settle down and they did for a little while. The only problems I seemed to have were that I couldn’t keep my blood sugar high and stable enough during parts of the day, so I’ve been working with my doctor to work on that.

Clayton’s been pursuing figuring out what was wrong with his body and this past week we finally got some answers which posed more questions. The electrocardiologist said that Clayton does show the brugada syndrome pattern in his ekg from the hospital and the urgent care but that does not necessarily mean he has the syndrome. He’s going to have a test done but unfortunately it only has a 70% detection rate or so – so, if it comes up positive we will go straight to a pacemaker if I am correct in what I understood. If it is negative, we have three options. option 1 is do nothing and avoid medications that might kill him. Option 2 is put a chip in that may or may not tell when his heart is acting up. Option 3 is go into the hospital and aggressively test. Purposely take the meds that basically would set up a heart attack and if it shows up get a pacemaker.

Brugada syndrome is called the “Widow maker” because it has no warning usually before someone just drops dead from it. The pattern in the heart was detected on those EKG’s probably because he’d been suffering from a fever the day before and the timing was just great. I’m gonna thank God for that one because otherwise, if this is what we’re dealing with, something terrible could’ve happened. We are pretty sure if this test turns out negative we’ll go with option number 2 and just hope that it works. 3 is too terrifying for me to even consider, because even if he’s in a hospital what if they can’t revive him and something goes wrong? No thank you.

Lastly, today I about broke my arm. Slammed it into a heavy door that was swinging towards me and the hard metal handle cracked me right in the arm. There’s a ginormous knot and it looks pretty ugly but it is not fractured which is a good thing. I’ll take small miracles right now. Saturday Clayton leaves for driving training and his little sister comes to visit for a week. I will try to get back on track this coming Wednesday, but with her here who knows? It won’t be two weeks though, I can promise that. I know it sounds like a clusterbuck I’ve been through lately and while it has been, I am keeping positive and keeping happy. Life is good.

Cheer Up, Buttercup . . .

I was considering on making a big update tomorrow with my gratitude post, but I remember last week’s post and it was really half complaint, half gratitude. So I decided to make this heavy post today to leave tomorrow’s light-hearted and thankful like Wednesdays are supposed to be.

It’s crazy because I do have so much to be thankful for. I am of advanced maternal age, high risk, and diabetic. There are so many reasons why I couldn’t have a healthy baby but I have defied all the odds and all the NT and genetic testing came back completely healthy and fine. When I take that into consideration my heart is happy and I am proud of the work I’ve done. I should be flying high, but …

It’s a boy.

My heart was set on this baby being a girl. Gender disappointment is a real thing, and for someone who normally struggles with anxiety and depression and can’t take their medication it magnifies it even worse. I’m lucky though because I have the support system of an amazing family on both sides and the sting of not having the girl I want is already starting to fade. The thing is, I believe everything happens for a reason. God gave us a boy – a healthy, perfect baby boy – for a reason. It’s not my job to question him or control freak every bit of this pregnancy. That has given me the most solace over anything else.

In actual struggles, I started insulin today. I was taking metformin but because of the way a pregnant body works during pregnancy, the doctor decided to go ahead and put me on insulin which is fine. I take 28 units of novolog and 56 units of humulin in the morning and 21 units of each at night. I have to eat six times a day which means I make alarms on my phone to remind me because that is how scatterbrained I am. I have to wear this stretchy wristband that says “diabetic” on it and keep juice and crackers hidden everywhere around the house. I’m terrified I’m going to mess it up and end up collapsed somewhere at home by myself. It really sucks but I’ll keep working at it and hopefully not mess up.

Now I try to put together a Despicable Me nursery and plan for Kristopher Donovan to come into our lives in December. No matter how whiny I am, life is good. Everything is good and will be fine.