This whole process of bringing a baby into the world has been one exercise in patience. For someone who doesn’t have a large supply of said virtue, it’s been also a very very big humbling learning experience. For instance, when we had that yes-oh-wait-nope moment at the first of the year, I was really dejected and discouraged because this wasn’t happening on my time. I knew that my clock was winding down and there was a cut off for the time I wanted to get pregnant, mostly because I wanted things the way I wanted them. When it took a while to get regular on my cycle, I was worried that it might not happen at all. Then that fixed itself and I went back to obsessively planning on how to make this happen. That first month, my husband went offshore literally the day that I ovulated. I knew there was still a slight chance as they say the swimmers can live in your body for some time, but then I got my lady time like clockwork the next month.
That month that followed was a bit obsessive for me. I’d check my ovulation daily with the tester, and then when I finally got a smiley face I was doing all these things to promote not only conception, but conception of a girl. Anything I read on the internet was fair game. I tried a lot of things. Well, the pregnancy stuck but we still have yet to find out what we’re having. It was actually pretty funny and the way I found out was a good lesson in obedience for me. I had taken a few tests that had shown up negative, and it was the day before I was due to have lady times again. I sat there as I wanted for it to turn and just prayed, “Lord I know this is going to be on your time, when you think I’m ready for it, so whatever your will is, I’ll take that and keep on going.” That positive sign was just .. I don’t know. The time I had there with God before the test turned was something I’ll likely never forget. It’s just another testament to the fact that He truly is faithful and good, in all ways.
This is the part where the waiting is killing me. I want to know so badly what we’re having, and June 4 can’t come fast enough. We have an appointment with the genetic counselor to talk about the blood testing options and I know I won’t get those results immediately, at least I’ll get the ball rolling and within the next week to week and a half after that I should know something. Still, it’s hard for me. I want to start addressing my baby by name, but don’t know which one to call him or her yet. I want to start making things and setting up the baby room, but I can’t of course until I know.
Trying to decide on whether or not to have a gender reveal party. While it would be super fun, I think I’d want to know before hand what it was because I just couldn’t wait that long. It might still fun for friends and family though. I don’t know. That’s still up in the air. Anyway, enough ramblings from an impatient pregnant woman tonight.